what can i say... ive only apologized a thousand times for not commenting and not replying to comments and just not being here at all. and every single time ive returned, ive given the same excuses: im not in the mood, i dont feel like it, i dont have the strength, i just cant.

i know its hard to understand that it really is difficult for me to check in regularly and get back to everybody in a timely manner, cuz its only curtious but it is difficult for me. da is a big place and it can get overwehlming. my offline world is overwhelming by itself; im having a hard enough time maintaining balance in my main world alone, a second one is out of the question. i cant balance my real life and balance my online life and maintain balance between the two all at the same time.

i could have an online life when i was younger and in school because i had other people giving my real life structure and balance but im 23 now and i have to do it for myself and, truth be told, im having a really hard time. so, imma just have to give up this second world. im not saying im never coming back, im just saying that i cant live in this world anymore; i can only visit now and then. so, no, im not clearing anything out, im not never uploading art or updating journals never again, its just gonna happen when ever my circustances will allow, which is at any random point in time.

my main reason for saying all of this is to let you all know whats up and to just not expect a lot of activity from me. there are a lot of da users who like to make people like me feel very guilty about not commenting on faved pictures and not replying to every single comment given to me, and in my case it works, hence me disappearing for long periods of time. i feel as tho if i cant do things the right way around here then i shouldnt be here at all, so i leave, but i know that doing that is just as unfair as the lack of comments cuz people ive met here get left behind. like i said before i dont wanna just ditch them.

so, even tho you may not be aware of my presence, know that i am aware of yours when you leave comments, faves, or journals. know that all of them are noticed and have always been noticed and appreciated even if i dont let you know, and i wish that i could get back to everybody personally to show my appreciation but it seems that thats just more than what i can handle. im sorry.

you can tell ive thought a lot about this, huh?

...no more double life for me.