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for some reason it disconnected me from the net altogether. the problem was fixed as soon as i uninstalled it but now i dunno what im gonna do about ie
PSA
A little late b/c of internet issues but, due to attacks to my account for reasons that have not been disclosed to me, I decided it was best to pull down all my work from this account and my (what was supposed to be, at least) portfolio account. I'm not sure if this is permanent, it just depends on if I can find a way to get the issue settled.
it's time for 2020 to BEAT IT, i guess...
Welcome 2021! I hope people have managed to bear with their struggles well so far and you also feel encouraged by the nearing end of the pandemic. Definitely sure 2020 was the worst year of my life but I'm only 36 so let me not speak too soon. Unfortunately, just because COVID came in with 2020 doesn't mean it'll go out with 2020, so we still need to be vigilant about practicing safety and hygiene. With the way mental health problems rose even among those who don't live with it as a chronic condition, let me just say, that as someone who does struggle with it on a daily basis, 2020 was hard—to say the least. And if my presence online was already hurting on account of that pre-2020, then I like to hope that my complete drop off the radar during 2020 can be understood. Not only that but my condition makes me sensitive to negativity, whether it's directed at me or not, and with all political and social outrage being poured out online as of late was all very detrimental to my health.
venting, i guess....
just been doing a lot of thinking lately and something just kind of hit me. sunday was a terrible day for me. after many years, my uncle (the one who's adopted) is still bitter with me over something that isn't my fault. That's what that "tired of guys.." status comment was about. He just refuses to talk about it though. A good amount of my time MIA was spent in the hospital. And then after that I was moved to a Crisis Stabilization Unit for a week where I had a counselor. A wonderful man who loves what he does (so jumping back for a bit, I know every guy isn't a douche but the ones who find me always seem be a douche). Anyway, we had conversation (among many) where he told me something that came back to me a minute ago. I had spoken about the difference between my cousin and I. I didn't use this word exactly but basically I could only describe her to him as superficial, so he said to me: "Your cousin is validated by being seen. You are the kind of woman who's validation comes
Story Time, i guess...
actually, this is more of a "even more real life drama headed my way so time to rant" thing. I don't think I've talked about my NDPT policy which goes as follows: NoDramaPleaseThanks. Yup, just like that. No spaces. Anyway, a couple weeks ago I decided to section out some time to focus on my art and get the ball rolling on it. I've been using other places as a studio of sorts. Last week I was at my aunt's. The week before I was at my mom's bf's, Mick. And the plan was to alternate every week. My time at Mick's place was nice. He's always super, might could say overly haha, hospitable and fortunately due to the quarantine, his son--whom I'm not on the best of terms with--had moved out until things settled down. But he moved back in... So I guess I need to lay down a little ground work for others to fully understand the implications of this event. We've lived in this house some 10 or so years and in all that time my mom and Mick have been together (and he told me they've never had a
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